(Ep. 108): Uncle Sam - Movie Commentary: July 2018

Uncle Sam

R 1996 ‧ Slasher/Horror ‧ 1h 30m

A Gulf War veteran rises from the dead to wreak vengeance upon unpatriotic residents of his hometown.

Initial release: 1996

Director: William Lustig

Release date: 1996 (Greece)

Budget: 2 million USD

Screenplay: Larry Cohen

Because you asked for it, here it is... Uncle Sam! 

The classic blockbuster video rental slasher is a great way to celebrate America's birthday! Nothing like some patriotic killing to make us American hard. Okay children grab that flag and those sparklers, bite into your U.S. grade hamburgers and pop in Uncle Sam...This is Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary!

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(Ep. 103): House 2: The Second Story - Movie Commentary: May 2018

House II: The Second Story

PG-13 1987 ‧ Adventure/Horror ‧ 1h 28m

A man (Arye Gross) and his friend (Jonathan Stark) exhume an ancestor (Royal Dano) in the house 

where his parents were killed.

Initial release: August 28, 1987

Director: Ethan Wiley

Budget: 3 million USD

Producer: Sean S. Cunningham

Production company: New World Pictures

 
Well you can't say we don't love you. Today Matt and Justin watch a movie from the Lister requested submissions. Sometimes we find fun and enjoyable films, that ether we never watched or never heard of. But that isn't always the case. Ep. 103 we cross off another one, House 2: The Second Story. A film not watched by the two in a collective 30 plus years. What we found out is its not as good as we once remembered.

House 2 is under the horror genre which is a lie. Eventhough it is a sequel to the 1986 film House, House 2 does not involve the storyline and character from the first film, including the horror feel. House 2 is supernatural fantasy "comedy". 

Frankly its a mess of a film. If you haven't already watched the first House then skip this and check House.

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(Ep. 95): Elves - Movie Commentary: December 2017

Elves

R

1989 ‧ Drama/Horror ‧ 1h 29m

_________________________________________________________________________________

A department-store Santa Claus (Dan Haggerty) discovers a Neo-Nazi plot to mate a nice girl (Julie Austin) with an elf in Colorado.

Release date:  October 24, 1989

Director: Jeffrey Mandel

Screenplay: Jeffrey Mandel

Music composed by: Vladimir Horunzhy

Production company: Action International Pictures

That time of the year is back when the gang sits around and watches nothing but terrible holiday themed movies.

Today is not only our first appearance of Dan Haggerty here at Simplistic Reviews but also a ending for a movie that flabbergasted DJ. I suppose this would already be enough for a Movie Commentary but nope...that's not all. We also have a homeless department store Santa investigating a modern-day Neo-Nazi plot to finally bring about the master race that Hitler had always dreamed of.

Instead of a race of pure-blood Aryans, it is revealed that Hitler dreamed of a race of half-human/half-elf hybrids.

Yep... what a movie everyone. So grab that egg nog and sit back, things are about to get weird.


Merry Christmas!


P.S. Enjoy the Elves because next week is a cold one set on a tropical island. Try not to question it.

   

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(Ep. 93): Killer Klowns from Outer Space - Movie Commentary: October 2017

Killer Klowns from Outer Space

PG-13 ‧ 1988 ‧ Science fiction film/Cult film ‧ 1h 28m

When teenagers Mike (Grant Cramer) and Debbie (Suzanne Snyder) see a comet crash outside their sleepy small town, they investigate and discover a pack of murderous aliens who look very much like circus clowns. They try to warn the local authorities, but everyone assumes their story is a prank. Meanwhile, the clowns set about harvesting and eating as many people as they can. It's not until they kidnap Debbie that Mike decides it's up to him to stop the clowns' bloody rampage.
Release date: May 20, 1988 (USA)

What could be better then watching some Killer Klowns this Halloween!? Well with the Simplistic Reviews crew! Join us as we watch a movie that was made to be wacky and goof, yet its still better then half the shit that comes out today! So grab that frankenberry! Pour some of that Halloween themed choice of beer because... this Movie Commentary is gonna scare your socks off!

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(Ep.76): Child's Play 2 - Movie Commentary: Oct 2016

Child's Play 2 

Play trailer on YouTube

1990 ‧ Slasher/Thriller ‧ 1h 24m  

Movie Commentary Friday! (Is that a thing?)

Hey everyone! Welcome to another Movie Commentary. Halloween is creeping up on us so we're continuing with some more movies about murdering. Only this time its a grown man trapped into the workings of a children's doll. (Cue Disney themed music)

Whats that?! Another bloody movie commentary that involves children? Yeah we know. Listen we didn't plan this out, it was purely random. But hey guess what? Luck is on our side because Child's Play 2 is a million times better then that last one, especially in story structure.

So sit back and watch out for that old toy you forgot about in your closet. You know the one that you witness a man doing black magic on when Dad and you went to the bank that one time. Sure you remember, don't you? You know when the cops came and shot up the place? And as he pulled his bullet riddled-bloody body, he knew the only way to live was to transport his soul into your favorite toy?

No...why would you...that was me.

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(Ep. 75): Beware! Children at Play - Movie Commentary: October 2016

Welcome to another Friday Night Family Movie Night!

 Beware! Children at Play

1hr 34mins | Horror | 1989

Well that happened...

DJ and Justin just watched Beware Children at Play. And...Well...It's not so great. It is a slow boring movie that only picks up right at the end. Sure the topic of murdering demoniac crazy children is a fun idea to use in a movie but if you don't do anything with it then its pretty lousy. Hopefully the movie next time is a bit more enjoyable to watch, because even though this trailer looked amazing, the final product was just lame.

CUTTING ROOM FLOOR

Ep. 75 with Movie Background

Ep. 75 without Movie Background

:)

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(Ep. 73): Friday the 13th Part III - Movie Commentary: August 2016

Friday the 13th Part III

1982 | Slasher | 1hr 35min

Welcome to the first ever 3D Podcast! How is a audio only podcast in 3D? We have no idea...

Requested by Bradley Taylor,

Friday the 13th Part III once again follows murderer Jason Voorhees, who as a child drowned off the waters of Camp Crystal Lake. Is there anyone that can put an end to Jason's murderous rampage? 

Friday the 13th Part III is a 1982 American 3D slasher film directed by Steve Miner and the third installment in the Friday the 13th film series. Originally released in 3-D, it is the first film to feature antagonist Jason Voorhees wearing his signature hockey mask, which has become a trademark of both the character and franchise, as well an icon in American cinema and horror films in general. As a direct sequel to Friday the 13th (1980) and Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981), the film follows a group of co-eds on vacation at a house on Crystal Lake, where Jason Voorhees has taken refuge. (IMDB)

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(Ep. 57): SR Podcast - "Happy" Halloween 3: Season of the Witch: October 2015

Happy Halloween!

Today is Halloween and to celebrate we figured what would be a better way then with the very unappreciated but great...

Halloween 3: Season of the Witch

98 mins | Horror | 1982

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

The gang gathers around for this Halloween film that doesn't feature Micheal Myers but does feature but not limited to, Killer Halloween Masks! Commercialization of the Halloween! Witchcraft! Androids! Shamrocks! and Tom mofo Atkins! It's a spooky film for a spooky day...now if only we could drink a McDonald's Shamrock Shake with a hit of whiskey that would make this day even better!

Notes:  

Halloween 3: Season of the Witch

Trailer

Soundtrack

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(Ep. 45): Slaughter High - Movie Commentary: April 2015

Movie Commentary Time!

Slaughter High

1986 - 90 mins - Slasher/Horror

Today we watch and make fun of the 90 min B-Slasher film, Slaughter High. We know what you are saying, "It's finally here!" Since the Podcast gang has been talking about Slaughter High numerous times on Podcasts and even a episode on Unboxing/Reviews.

Slaughter High is about eight people that are invited to their 10-year high school reunion at their now-closed down high school where a former student, disfigured from a prank gone wrong, is there to seek revenge. Simple and to the point but it's got its issues.

Slaughter High is a fun, entertaining film of which everyone should see. If you haven't this is the perfect time to watch!

Also this Movie Commentary is sponsor by Tide Stick!

Remember kids, if you go on a murderous rampage bring along a Tide Stick!

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