one word reviews of Movies and TV

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

(Ep.17): SR Podcast - Year End Wrap Up 2013




In the blink of an eye, 2013 is over and we look towards 2014 here on The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.  In this special edition of The Podcast, DJ, Justin, Matt, and Neal give their two-cents on the best and worst of the year in film and TV, and I'm sure a lot more.

Will "Grown Ups 2" stand alone as a worse mistake than Greedo shooting first, or will "White House Down" prove that Barack Obama is funnier than Jamie Foxx?

All of this and so much more on The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.  Happy New Year and see all you clowns in 2014.

Show Notes:
Best Films of 2013
Worst Films of 2013
Best TV of 2013

Music Notes:
"Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is" By Chicago
"Your The Best" By Joe Esposito
"Background Music" By Seeburg
"Auld Lang Syne" By Kenny G

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

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Sunday, December 29, 2013

(Ep.16): SR Podcast - Decemeber 2013



'Tis the season to talk movies and TV...and R.Kelly..and...um... Jolene Blalock's disappearance...and Lara Flynn Boyle?  I'm pretty sure that's not how the song goes.

An oddly optimistic Justin Polizzi makes his triumphant return and unveils his latest character impression.  Neal DaSouza joins us again to talk some anime and take dictation.  DJ is confused over the midseason finale of The Walking Dead and discovers he has some sort of Die Hard Tourette's Syndrome.  Matt starts an all out war between people of the Jewish faith and jolly ol' Saint Nick in a new segment called Dear Santa.  And a crippled little boy is able to walk again at the end.  It's a Christmas Miracle!  Sorry, that last bit I made up or partially stole from Charles Dickens.  But I swear, the rest of that stuff does happen on the holiday edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

Show Notes:
Ellis From Die Hard
Police Academy
R.Kelly Cookie Song
Detective Quentin Lance
Akira
Jolene Blalock
Lara Flynn Boyle Is Melting

Music:
"Holiday Road" By Lindsey Buckingham
"Christmas In Hollis" By Run D.M.C.
"Christmas Time Is Here" By Vince Guaraldi
"The Best" By Tina Turner
"Let It Snow" By Vaughn Monroe



FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

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Saturday, November 30, 2013

(Ep.15): SR Podcast - November 2013

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: November Edition

As Turkey Day draws to a close, the boys recap the month of November with Anime and Asian Cinema aficionado Neal DaSouza.  They talk about black films, black Kermit The Frog, and Blacklist.  Not necessarily in that order.

The boys also introduce an old game with a new twist.  A game titled with the infamous anagram K.F.M. (Look it up on the interwebs kiddies).  Remakes, Wolves of Wall Street, and Roadhouse throat rips.  Gobble up all that and more, pilgrim, on the Thanksgiving edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.  Yes, that was a pretty bad use of word play.  So what?  Sue me.  Wait, don't sue me.  I'm so incredibly poor.




Show Notes:

Kermit The Frog
Roadhouse
K.F.M. Game
The Blacklist
Sleepy Hollow
The Wolf Of Wall Street

Music:
"Birds And Brass" By Sort Of Soul
"Word Up" By Cameo
"Fame" By David Bowie
"The Best" By Tina Turner
"Little Less Conversation" - Elvis Presley

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.


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Friday, November 15, 2013

(Ep.14): SR Presents Indie Insider - "Stuck" Interview With Angela Palladino

Simplistic Reviews presents: Indie Insider - Stuck, Interview with Director Angela Palladino


In our first in a series of interviews we will be conducting during the production of the film "Stuck," Simplistic Reviews is happy to have Writer, Producer, and Director, Angela Palladino, on this Simplistic Reviews Podcast special, "Indie Insider."  SR's own, Matthew Stewart, runs the gamut with Angela that stretches from her motivation to film "Stuck," who inspires her, and what it's like to film close to home.




Angela's Indiegogo Page
Main (Stuck) Website
(Stuck) on Indiegogo
(Stuck) on IMDB
(Stuck) on Facebook
(Stuck) Trailer

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Thursday, October 31, 2013

(Ep.13): SR Podcast - October 2013

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: October Edition


The boys are back with another hard-hitting, face-melting, knee-slapping, balls-to-the-wall edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.  October draws to a close with Halloween on their minds as they breakdown the best Horror Monsters/Villains/Demons of all-time.

The boys also vent their anger in another round of "Hey F%*khead" and no one is safe.  Everyone from Julliane Hough to Michael Bay are ripped limb from limb for their stupidity and overall douchebaggery.

Add in some TV talk, Casper the Friendly Rapist, and a barn-full of shenanigans and you got a podcast worth downloading and listening to while you're running on the elliptical machine.  Enjoy!

Show Notes:

Julianne Hough in Blackface
Chris Brown Still Beating People
History of Halloween
Scariest Horror Villains

Music:
"Birds And Brass" By Sort Of Soul
"Word Up" By Cameo
"The Great Escape" By Elmer Bernstein
"The Best" By Tina Turner
"Little Less Conversation" - Elvis Presley

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

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Monday, September 23, 2013

(Ep.12): SR Podcast - September 2013

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: September Edition


Yay!  The rest of the months for the rest of the year end with -ber!  You can tell we are easily excited over on Simplistic Reviews, especially this month of September.

As we reach the final quarter of 2013, and our one-year anniversary of podcasting to the Interwebs, we go all out this month, well, not really, but we have to do something to get you guys excited.

In this September edition of the Simplistic Reviews podcast we talk tons of Fall TV, the final episodes of "Breaking Bad," just how bad the remake of "Robocop" will be, the return of Simply Quotable, and our favorite sports films of all time.

All this, including a surprise cameo by Al Pacino as he gets all hot and bothered about the classic Amanda Bynes' TV show "What I Like About You."  Who-Ahhhhh!!!!

Check out the show notes below for more fun stuff, and coming this week, The Simplistic Reviews List of things that we've learned from "Breaking Bad."

Show Notes:

Robocop Remake
SlaughterFilm
Cinema and Suds
Fall TV Schedule
Breaking Bad Theories

Music:
"Birds And Brass" By Sort Of Soul
"Word Up" By Cameo
"Fame" By David Bowie
"The Best" By Tina Turner
"Little Less Conversation" - Elvis Presley

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

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Saturday, August 31, 2013

(Ep.11): SR Podcast - August 2013

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: August Edition



Hello boils and ghouls.  Okay, this isn't the Cryptkeeper, and it's nearly three months away from Halloween, but I couldn't help myself.  But what I can offer you is The Simplistic Reviews Podcast for the month of August (and some of June and July, we had a lot to catch up on in this edition).
After an extended hiatus the boys are back (of course this is Matt speaking in the 3rd person) and maybe not better then ever, but at least their adequate.  This month they jump into the "Ben Affleck as Batman" debate head first, share their shame in everyone's favorite segment, "Simply Ashamed," talk some "Breaking Bad," celebrate the filmography of Sinbad, and campaign for the best film coming this Fall.

Be sure to check the show notes below for more fun and hijinks.

Show Notes:

What Makes Breaking Bad so good?
SlaughterFilm
Cinema and Suds
Fall Movie Preview

Music:
"Birds And Brass" By Sort Of Soul
"Word Up" By Cameo
"Fame" By David Bowie
"The Best"By Tina Turner
"Little Less Conversation" - Elvis Presley


FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

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Thursday, July 18, 2013

(Ep. 10): One Year Anniversary Extravaganza 2013

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: One Year Anniversary Extravaganza


It's hard to believe that Simplistic Reviews has been around for one year.  You would have thought that the FCC, Michael Bay, or some other Hollywood douchebag would have called in a favor and had the three of us involved in an unfortunate electrical or chemical accident.  I guess they feared that if that happened we would genetically mutate and plan to conquer the world, or in the least just keep doing podcasts since their plans failed.  Well, we're not genetically mutating anytime soon, but we are going to continue rocking the Interwebs with our colorful dialogue and point-of-views

On a serious note, we would like to thank everyone who reads our reviews, leaves comments, likes our Facebook page, re-tweets our tweets, and/or listens to our podcasts.  As Simplistic Reviews enters our sophomore year we'll continue to either tear movies apart or heap unlimited amounts of praise upon them.

In this special podcast we look back at the first two films reviewed on the site, "Lethal Weapon" and "Die Hard" arguably the two best action movies of the 80's, if not, ever.  And since we like games so much, we introduce the newest Simplistic Reviews game, "Martin Or McClane" where we decide who has the best 80's hair, John McClane or Martin Riggs.  So sit back, relax, and enjoy this anniversary edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

Show Notes:

Lethal Weapon Review
Die Hard Review
Zack and Miri Make A Porno Review

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FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.
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Monday, June 24, 2013

(Ep. 9): A Little More Conversation 2013

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: A Little More Conversation


If you've been following our podcast since it's inception, you know we like to rant, rave, and go on intense tangents.  Well this month we decided to take an entire unaired section of our May Podcast and turn it into a bonus edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

In this little nugget of joy we take on Iron Man 3, Star Trek Into Darkness and you get to hear Matt sink lower and lower into drunkenness.  It's really a thing of beauty......and sadness.  On top of that we also delve into Peter Weller's filmography and imagine if Robocop decided to police Hogwarts.

Show Notes:

Iron Man 3
Star Trek Into Darkness
Effects of Alcohol on Speech
Peter Weller

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FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

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Tuesday, June 11, 2013

(Ep. 8): SR Podcast - May 2013

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: May Edition


May.....June....who cares?  It's another Simplistic Reviews Podcast posting in June, but they're talking about things in May.  Yeah, that's just how these clowns roll.

From Philip Seymour Hoffman's smack habit to the benefits of drinking whiskey during a podcast (thanks Matt), we got you covered.  Oh, and why HPV saved Michael Douglas' life.

The guys also unleash their newest segment "Hey Fu*khead" where they unload on people and things that are ruining the world and the sad lives of DJ, Justin, and Matt.

And for you TV-heads, our hosts take a look at the upcoming Fall TV schedule and break down what to see, what to watch with caution, and what to avoid like the plague.

Also, if you get tired of our site reading reviews, head over to SlaughterFilm.com, click on the link on their page, and get re-directed back to our site.  Counter-productive? I think not, because Cory and Forest are doing the Devil's work over on SlaughterFilm.

*Correction to podcast:  Alan Silvestri did not score the Friday the 13th films, it was actually Harry Manfredini.

Show Notes:

Hoffman's Habit
The Rains of Castamere
Best of Fall TV 2013
Deep Throating for HPV

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

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Monday, May 6, 2013

(Ep. 7): SR Podcast - April 2013

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: April Edition


It's that time of the month again, take that as you may, but you won't need any tampons to listen to April's Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

In this month's edition we ponder who is more evil, Red Skull or Adolf Hitler, Sheri Moon Zombie's ass, and Justin tries to sell Matt on Mad Men, and the P-word gets thrown into the mix.

The guys also test their movie quote knowledge in the new segment, "Simply Quotable," and do a little Summer movie preview of their own with Iron Man already making waves.

If you like good wholesome family fun, well, find another podcast.  If you like three guys talking out of their ass for over an hour, well, now you're on the right track with The Simplistic Reviews podcast.

Also, May 6th is National Nightmare Day, a Day to celebrate the 1984 horror classic "A Nightmare on Elm Street."  Check over at SlaughterFilm.com for more information.

Show Notes:

Hannibal Review
Summer Movie Preview
The Benefit of Mad Men
National Nightmare Day

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FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

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Thursday, April 11, 2013

(Ep. 6): SR Podcast - March 2013




You might ask yourself, "Hey Simplistic Reviews!  It's April, this isn't the March Podcast."  Well, yeah, you're right......that's all I got.  You got us listening public, this is the March Simplistic Reviews Podcast, posted in April.

We discuss everything from chocolate Easter bunnies to Peeps and even fit in some time to worship the Season Three Premiere of "Game of Thrones."

And while it seems like we have no shame (have you listened to any of our previous podcasts) we actually do, as we introduce a new segment, "Simply Ashamed" where we talk about crying, bestiality, and illegally recording "Ghost Rider," but not necessarily in that order.

So gather around the old iPod, or your Zune, bring grandma and enjoy the fun of The Simplistic Reviews March Podcast.


Click on the link below to download the podcast and enjoy folks!

Show Notes

Sexy Cartoon Babes
Game of Thrones Love
Understanding Shame


FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

Click HERE to listen to podcast

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Friday, March 1, 2013

SR Podcast (Ep. 5) Late Edition: February 2013

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast Late Edition: February 2013

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

Like the old cliche; "better late than never" The Simplistic Reviews Podcast is back, and we're just as cliched as we were back in January.

In this February edition we wax poetic on the failings of non-Marvel Studios films, pass judgement on Bruce Willis' latest John McClane adventure, "A Good Day To Die Hard," and rip Seth MacFarlane a new one.

Plus, this time Matt is in the hot seat with another edition of "Word Association." From Harrison Ford to breast milk, nothing is off limits to Matt's rage, while Justin and DJ have their feelings hurt by our cybernetic robo-babe, Julie.

All this and much more in our "late" February podcast, right here on Simplistic Reviews.


Show Notes

Boycotting Non-Marvel Comic Films
A "Good" Day to "Die Hard"
Why Seth MacFarlane Sucks




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Thursday, February 28, 2013

SR Podcast (Ep. 4): 2013 Oscars Special

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: 2013 Oscars Special


In this very special edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast we break down the 2013 Academy Award, this Sunday, February 24th.  Will "Argo" make The Academy rue the day they didn't nominate Ben Affleck for a best actor award for "Gigli?"  Will another French Revolution occur with "Amour?"  Will we ever get to see the SyFy Original movie, "Zero Dark Thirty-One: The Return of bin Laden?"

All of this and much, much more in our special Oscar edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.  Below are the categories we cover in the podcast, with our favorites BOLDED.
Best Animated Film: FRANKENWEENIE
PIRATES: BAND OF MISFITS
BRAVE
PARANORMAN
WRECK IT RALPH

Best Screenplay Adapted: CHRIS TERRIO-ARGO,
LUCY ALIBAR & BEN ZEITLIN-BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD
DAVID MAGEE-LIFE OF PI,
TONY KUSHNER- LINCOLN
DAVID O. RUSSELL-SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK

Best Original Screenplay: MICHAEL HANEKE-AMOUR,
QUENTIN TARANTINO-DJANGO
JOHN GATINS-FLIGHT
WES ANDERSON & ROMAN COPPOLA-MOONRISE KINGDOM
MARK BOAL-ZERO DARK THIRTY

Directing: MICHAEL HANEKE-AMOUR,
BEN ZEITLIN-BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD
ANG LEE-LIFE OF PI
STEVEN SPIELBERG-LINCOLN
DAVID O. RUSSELL-SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK

Best Supporting Actress: AMY ADAMS-THE MASTER
SALLY FIELD-LINCOLN
ANNE HATHAWAY-LES MISERABLES
HELEN HUNT-THE SESSIONS
JACKI WEAVER-SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK.

Best Supporting Actor: ALAN ARKIN-ARGO
ROBERT DENIRO-SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK
 PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN-THE MASTER
TOMMY LEE JONES-LINCOLN
CHRISTOPH WALTZ-DJANGO UNCHAINED

Best Actress: JESSICA CHASTAIN-ZERO DARK THIRTY
 JENNIFER LAWRENCE-SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK
EMMANUELLE RIVA-AMOUR
QUVENZHANE WALLIS-BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD
NAOMI WATTS-THE IMPOSSIBLE

Best Actor: BRADLEY COOPER-SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK
DANIEL DAY-LEWIS-LINCOLN
HUGH JACKMAN-LES MISERABLES
JOAQUIN PHOENIX-THE MASTER
DENZEL WASHINGTON-FLIGHT

Best Picture-AMOUR,
LIFE OF PI
ARGO
LINCOLN
BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD
SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK
DJANGO UNCHAINED
ZERO DARK THIRTY
LES MISERABLES

Show Notes

Official Academy Awards Site
Django Review
Silver Linings Playbook Review
The Master Review
Zero Dark Thirty Review

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.


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Tuesday, January 29, 2013

SR Podcast (Ep. 3): January 2013

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: January 2013



Our first podcast of the year, and we'd like to thank all the fans and readers for making 2012 a success for us.  Right out of the gates we discuss how J.J. Abrams will balance his responsibilities between "Star Trek" and "Star Wars."  We judge the HBO original series "Girls" in our newest segment, "Open & Shut" where we channel our inner Jack McCoy and Atticus Finch.  And we debate what is the Biggest Bad-ass 80s Action Film in "Simply the Best."

All of this, and much more, including a beer can with no manners, Bill Murray getting hand jobs, and our longing for Saturday Morning Cartoons.


FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.
Show Notes:

Matt's take on Girls
The Force is strong with Abrams
Great courtroom scenes
The best of 80s Action


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