one word reviews of Movies and TV

Friday, March 1, 2019

(Ep. 117): Mystery Movie - Movie Commentary: March 2019

Today we try something new, something mysterious, something crazy! DJ and Justin watch a movie like they did so many times before. But this time it's different. This time Justin carefully selected from the Simplistic Reviews ever growing library of shitty movies, a film DJ has never seen nor heard of.

And that's not all. This time DJ has no idea what he will be watching, he knows nothing, just like you!

So join DJ as he is only aware of recording a movie commentary...not what movie...but...a mystery movie!

Saturday, February 9, 2019

(Ep. 116): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: February 2019



February is not only the month of love. It is also the month in which the hooligans from the Simplistic Reviews Podcast return! On this season premiere episode, the boys have intellectual discussions/ profanity-laced tangents about Liam Neeson’s past, America’s rampant use of blackface, Benedict Cumberbatch‘s most creepy role, Jeff Goldblum (AGAIN), and Albert Finney’s best role...Dr. Albert Hirsch in the Bourne Ultimatum...it’s subjective.

All that and more on this heartwarming and romantic February episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES


MUSIC
Fast Times Club By IDOL
Gold Medal By Sounds Like Sander

Sunday, January 13, 2019

(Ep. 115): Hard To Kill - Movie Commentary: January 2019

The new year is here and so is a new batch of Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentaries! 

We start this new year off with a film from 90's action star and serial eater, Steven Seagal. Which Seagal film? Well, since Steven has a large collection of so bad its good, we figured we get out one of the better Seagal films that also has some of our favorite lines.

Stay warm with the boys from SR on this chilly January Sunday and let's watch some Hard to Kill!
Hard to Kill

R 1990 ‧ Drama/Thriller ‧ 1h 40m

Description

When police detective Mason Storm (Steven Seagal) uncovers ties among corrupt cops, the mob and charismatic politician Vernon Trent (Bill Sadler), a hit is ordered on his family. During the attack, Storm's wife is killed, and the cop himself is severely injured. After waking up from a years-long coma, Storm, aided by gorgeous nurse Andy Stewart (Kelly LeBrock), slowly gets back on his feet and plots revenge against those who wronged him, particularly the duplicitous Sen. Trent.
Release date: February 9, 1990 (USA)
Director: Bruce Malmuth
Box office: 47.4 million USD
Screenplay: Steven McKay
Music composed by: David Michael Frank



Friday, December 21, 2018

(Ep. 114): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: December 2018

Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good podcast! The Simplistic Reviews Podcast is back to jingle some bells and deck some halls with Simon Appleton from Moustache Movie News. We ask the expert in all things U.K. everything from Brexit, the metric system, and Meghan Markel...we also take a break to read some Christmas cards sent to Santa, much to the chagrin of our Jewish cohost Matthew Stewart. We also bring back one of our favorite games, Simplistic Titles, to see if Simon knows what movies are real and which ones come from the dark recesses of DJ Valentine's twisted mind. All that reindeer crap and more on a fa-la-la-la-loaded episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast


MUSIC
Deck The Halls By Album House
Hark The Herald Angels Sing By Album House
Jingle Bells By Album House
O Little Town Of Bethlehem By Album House
We Wish You An Indie Christmas By Aaron Tosti
Happy Christmas Deck The Halls By Be Still The Earth
8-Bit Blues By Fairlight
Move By OBOY


NOTES
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Audition
Aladdin First Look
Lindsey Lohan Beach Club

Friday, November 30, 2018

(Ep. 113): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: November 2018


Don't count your turkeys before they're clucked...that's a saying, right? The Simplistic Reviews Podcast for November comes right under the wire just in time to tell you what happened to Harry Potter, explore the career and voice of Kathleen Turner, discuss the filmography of Steven Seagal and create a brand new Pokemon. The boys test the limits of reality with the return of Believable Or Bullshit. Justin reveals which classic '70s show he'll be watching next on TV Roundup. And we flip Hollywood on its head with another edition of Simplistic Switcheroo. All that and more on the award-winning Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES
Hard To Kill
HPV Michael Douglas
Detective Pikachu
Michael J. Fox on Curb

MUSIC
Fast Times By Idols
Sun Traces By Isaac Joel
Gold Medal By Sounds Like Sander
Runaway Ghost By Travis Loafman



Monday, November 12, 2018

(Ep. 112): If Looks Could Kill - Movie Commentary: Novemeber 2018


If Looks Could Kill

1991 Action Comedy 1hr 28m

Before he can graduate, cocky high school student Michael Corben (Richard Grieco) travels to France on a school trip to earn a missing French credit. But when a British intelligence agent mistakes Michael for a spy of the same name, they rush him to headquarters and assign him to capture the evil Augustus Steranko (Roger Rees), using a plethora of espionage gadgetry. Michael has the time of his life -- until he crosses paths with two assassins (Tom Rack, Carole Davis) who want him dead.

Director: William Dear
Story by: Fred Dekker 

 Why? Because why not! Open that bottle of wine you keep thinking about and spend a lovely evening with DJ, Matt, Justin and the God that is Richard Grieco. Feast your eyes upon the Grieco and say goodbye to your family, because looks can kill!






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