one word reviews of Movies and TV

Sunday, January 14, 2018

(Ep. 98): SR Podcast - January 2018

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

The boys at Simplistic Reviews are back for a brand new year of hijinks, hilarity, intrigue, and murder...well maybe not that last one.  On the January edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the gang not only tries to unravel the mystery of January Jones' secret baby daddy, they also discuss Star Wars, Star Trek, The Crown, The Wire, and the 1991 Macaulay Culkin animated series Wish Kid...yeah...we're still a pretty weird show.  The boys also reveal some secrets they're not too proud of in the segment Simply Ashamed.  All that, an office search, a porno movie experience and more on a brand new edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast

NOTES
X-Factor
Wish Kid
January Jones Kid Mystery
The Wire's Best Scene
Billy Joel Accident


MUSIC
Sexy By Ben Sound
Ying And Yang By John 00 Fleming
The Croft By Joakim Karud

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Friday, January 12, 2018

(Ep. 97): Fit To Kill - Movie Commentary: January 2018

Fit to Kill

R
1993 ‧ Thriller/Action ‧ 1h 34m



L.E.T.H.A.L. Agents Donna and Nicole, accompany and protect a wealthy Asian businessman and his rare diamond against a sinister international jewel thief.

Release: 1993
Director: Andy Sidaris
Screenplay: Andy Sidaris


There isn't anything to say about this film except it is amazing!

Please...Stop whatever your doing and watch this film now!

Honestly this is one of the best we have ever watched on the Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary. It's been awhile and we are glad to come back to the films by Andy Sidaris. What more could you ask for...

Girls!

Guns!

and 

G-Strings!


I mean clearly it has everything. And to top it off the movie has one hell of a Bond undertone. Just wait till that we get there. We once again tip our hat to you Mr. Sidaris... Thank you! 
P.S. Be on the lookout for a young Kenny Powers



Friday, December 22, 2017

(Ep. 96): Jack Frost 2 - Movie Commentary: December 2017

Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman

R
 2000 ‧ Slasher/Fantasy ‧ 1h 31m
_____________________________________________________________________________
 Sam (Christopher Allport) is traumatized by his experience the previous Christmas, battling Jack Frost (Matt Falletta), a murderous snowman possessed by a serial killer. His wife, Anne (Eileen Seeley), thinks a trip to the tropics will get his mind off the snow, so they pack their bags and head to a resort on an island in the Pacific. Meanwhile, the FBI accidentally resurrects Jack's remains during an experiment. Jack heads to the island, covers it in snow and embarks on another rampage.

Initial release: November 21, 2000
Director: Michael Cooney
Film series: Jack Frost Film Series
Music composed by: Chris Anderson
Screenplay: Michael Cooney
Well to finish off our Holiday Movie Commentaries we decided to dive into Jack Frost 2. There is much to say but watch the first Jack Frost and stop. Jack Frost 2 is not a good bad movie but a bad movie. They forgot the good this time around. So stay warm by that fire place and remember not to eat the yellow snow!
Happy Hanukkah
Merry Christmas
Happy Festivus
Happy New Year
and from us all at Simplistic Reviews thank you for listening and reading! We have big things planned this year we think you will enjoy!
 See you next year... 


Sunday, December 17, 2017

(Ep. 95): Elves - Movie Commentary: December 2017

Elves

R
1989 ‧ Drama/Horror ‧ 1h 29m
_________________________________________________________________________________


A department-store Santa Claus (Dan Haggerty) discovers a Neo-Nazi plot to mate a nice girl (Julie Austin) with an elf in Colorado.
Release date:  October 24, 1989
Director: Jeffrey Mandel
Screenplay: Jeffrey Mandel
Music composed by: Vladimir Horunzhy

That time of the year is back when the gang sits around and watches nothing but terrible holiday themed movies.

Today is not only our first appearance of Dan Haggerty here at Simplistic Reviews but also a ending for a movie that flabbergasted DJ. I suppose this would already be enough for a Movie Commentary but nope...that's not all. We also have a homeless department store Santa investigating a modern-day Neo-Nazi plot to finally bring about the master race that Hitler had always dreamed of.

Instead of a race of pure-blood Aryans, it is revealed that Hitler dreamed of a race of half-human/half-elf hybrids.

Yep... what a movie everyone. So grab that egg nog and sit back, things are about to get weird.


Merry Christmas!


P.S. Enjoy the Elves because next week is a cold one set on a tropical island. Try not to question it.


   

Sunday, December 3, 2017

(Ep. 94): SR Podcast - December 2017

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

On this early holiday addition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys discuss all the Hollywood news they missed while on Thanksgiving break during an edition of Can You Dig It. They also review everything from The Punisher to Vice Principals during TV Roundup. They even get to try out some new impressions during the game Simply Quotable…and all this is bookended by Justin’s attempt to cancel a gift basket he bought from Costco…yes really. All that, a new trailer spoof, and some underhanded shots at Matt Lauer on this Season’s Greetings episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES
Vince McMahon Buys WCW

Monday, October 30, 2017

(Ep. 93): Killer Klowns from Outer Space - Movie Commentary: October 2017

Killer Klowns from Outer Space


PG-13  1988 ‧ Science fiction film/Cult film ‧ 1h 28m


When teenagers Mike (Grant Cramer) and Debbie (Suzanne Snyder) see a comet crash outside their sleepy small town, they investigate and discover a pack of murderous aliens who look very much like circus clowns. They try to warn the local authorities, but everyone assumes their story is a prank. Meanwhile, the clowns set about harvesting and eating as many people as they can. It's not until they kidnap Debbie that Mike decides it's up to him to stop the clowns' bloody rampage.
Release date: May 20, 1988 (USA)




What could be better then watching some Killer Klowns this Halloween!? Well with the Simplistic Reviews crew! Join us as we watch a movie that was made to be wacky and goof, yet its still better then half the shit that comes out today! So grab that frankenberry! Pour some of that Halloween themed choice of beer because... this Movie Commentary is gonna scare your socks off!


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