(Ep. 124): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast - August 2019

On this back to school episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast. William Davis Moore, from Miscast Entertainment, sits in for the vacationing Matthew Stewart. The boys discuss...well...The Boys...TV series...they also briefly discuss the only Oscar-winning film to have a money shot in it (Can you guess what it is?)...they tackle the TransAtlantic accent and finally reveal the real person behind Warner Brothers. All That and Moore...see what I did there? Because William Davis Moore is on the...nevermind...All that and some stoking of the flames surrounding that old rumor about William Shatner's late wife...yeah we went there...on the August Edition of the Simplistic Review Podcast.

NOTES

Shatner's Wife

The Boys Airplane Scene

The TransAtlantic Accent

Pennyworth

Lobo on Krypton

Lex Luthor Stole 40 Cakes

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(Ep. 123): Stone Cold - Movie Commentary: August 2019

Stone Cold

R 1991 ‧ Thriller/Action ‧ 1h 35m

A street-smart cop goes undercover to infiltrate and bring to justice a ruthless motorcycle gang before they can carry out their plans of tyranny and murder.

Release date: May 17, 1991 (USA)

Director: Craig R. Baxley

MGM...oh MGM. Your copyright happy trigger finger was at it again. Nothing like editing Stone Cold a few times only to have you take it down again and again. Fun stuff MGM...fun stuff.

Take a journey with DJ and Justin to a simpler time, were MGM made fun and exciting movies existed. Sure, MGM has lost it ways these days but there was a time they made enjoyable films. No, I'm not salty over the pull downs - but Stone Cold is a fun ride. And lets not pull punches here, no one pulls off the business in the front and party in the back like Brian mother F-ing Bosworth!

So, take a ride with us as we watch 90s Stone Cold and now faith-based action star, The Boz!

Yeah, the guy from Stone Cold does faith based action movies now, hey everyone has to make a living.

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(Ep. 122): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast July 2019

Happy Fourth Of July! A holiday you that’s best with the fireworks that only the Simplistic Reviews Podcast can give you. On this return episode, the boys discuss what they did on their summer break, which includes hospital visits that lead to an interaction with Michael Keaton, their top 3 episodes of Black Mirror, some of Quincy Jones’ best hits…on fellow celebrities, and how much they would need to get paid to let a female soccer player kick them in the nethers. And to top it off, they play the explosive game Simplistic Submarine. All that and more on this comeback episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast


MUSIC Fast Times By IDOLS
Gold Medal By Sounds Like Sander
Variety Time By Tim Garland


NOTES 
Alex Morgan 
Quincy Jones Rumor About Brando
Black Mirror

 

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(Ep. 121): Fire Down Below - Movie Commentary: May 2019

We started this new year off with a film from 90's action star and serial eater, Steven Seagal's Hard to Kill! We continue the Seagal Saga with Fire Down Below, you know the EPA action film...no not that one...the other one...yeah there is another EPA action film.

Fire Down Below

1997 ‧ Thriller/Action ‧ 1h 45m

Description

When an EPA representative is discovered dead in a small Midwestern town, government agent Jack Taggart (Steven Seagal) goes undercover to check things out. He finds that local coal mogul Orin Hanner Sr. (Kris Kristofferson) is cutting financial corners by disposing of hazardous waste wherever he pleases and that local kids are falling ill because of this recklessness. Taggart then works to stop the shady activity and save the town, but Hanner and his thugs soon grow suspicious of him.

Initial release: December 13, 1997 (South Korea)

Director: Félix Enríquez Alcalá

Budget: 42 million USD

Box office: 16.2 million USD

Music composed by: Nick Glennie-Smith

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(Ep. 120): Guns - Movie Commentary: April 2019

April 26 is here!

Sure, the mystery movie commentaries were fun. But you knew what you wanted and we knew what you needed. So today we give it like it has never been given...That is why, for no other reason, April 26 was circled on our calendars.

A date we know a lot of you have been counting down towards.

A date that will most likely go down in movie history.

April 26, 2019.

The date Simplistic Reviews finally watched...Guns!

Guns

1990 ‧ Thriller/Drama ‧ 1h 36m

Description

Initial release: November 9, 1990

Director: Andy Sidaris

A South American gunrunner (Erik Estrada) uses an island in Hawaii as his base of operations. A squad of beautiful government airfreighters Donna (Dona Speir) and Nicole (Roberta Vasquez) agents is sent to put him out of business.

Shit yeah! Andy Sidaris! The Sidaris Cinematic Universe continues of the greatest movie series ever! Bombs! Bullets and Babes! This isn't no children's Endgame, this is real shit!

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(Ep. 119): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast April 2019

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast is back from Spring break...clean...sober...and ready to go. One of those things is true. The boys discuss everything they missed since they’ve been gone. From James Gunn rehiring, to the etymology of the word “trump”, to that famous last line in Lethal Weapon 2. You remember that one right? We sure didn’t. Doug Funny, Oregon Trail, Jenny & Melissa McCarthy...all points of interest or disinterest on this Spring fling episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES

Jenny McCarthy Anti-Vax

The word “trump” means...

Oregon Trail

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels Remake

MUSIC

Fast Times Club By IDOL

Gold Medal By Sounds Like Sander

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(Ep. 118): Mystery Movie 2 - Movie Commentary: April 2019

So last time we tried something new, something mysterious, something crazy!

The people responded and wanted more or we're just untalented hacks...anyway we did it again!

Matt and Justin watch a movie just in-time for another movie that's due out April 5. Wow a movie commentary tie-in? Kinda...But unlike last time, both Matt and Justin have seen this film before.

Sure, it may be just a one off type of film but damn its really mysterious is it not?


So join Matt as he joins DJ in a movie commentary like none other...a mystery movie...eh movie commentary!?

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(Ep. 117): Mystery Movie - Movie Commentary: March 2019

Today we try something new, something mysterious, something crazy! DJ and Justin watch a movie like they did so many times before. But this time it's different. This time Justin carefully selected from the Simplistic Reviews ever growing library of shitty movies, a film DJ has never seen nor heard of.

And that's not all. This time DJ has no idea what he will be watching, he knows nothing, just like you!

So join DJ as he is only aware of recording a movie commentary...not what movie...but...a mystery movie!

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(Ep. 116): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: February 2019

February is not only the month of love. It is also the month in which the hooligans from the Simplistic Reviews Podcast return! On this season premiere episode, the boys have intellectual discussions/ profanity-laced tangents about Liam Neeson’s past, America’s rampant use of blackface, Benedict Cumberbatch‘s most creepy role, Jeff Goldblum (AGAIN), and Albert Finney’s best role...Dr. Albert Hirsch in the Bourne Ultimatum...it’s subjective.

All that and more on this heartwarming and romantic February episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES

Albert Finney The Bourne Ultimatum

Liam Neeson Cosh Stalker

MUSIC

Fast Times Club By IDOL

Gold Medal By Sounds Like Sander

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(Ep. 115): Hard To Kill - Movie Commentary: January 2019

The new year is here and so is a new batch of Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentaries! 

We start this new year off with a film from 90's action star and serial eater, Steven Seagal. Which Seagal film? Well, since Steven has a large collection of so bad its good, we figured we get out one of the better Seagal films that also has some of our favorite lines.

Stay warm with the boys from SR on this chilly January Sunday and let's watch some Hard to Kill!

Hard to Kill

R 1990 ‧ Drama/Thriller ‧ 1h 40m

Description

When police detective Mason Storm (Steven Seagal) uncovers ties among corrupt cops, the mob and charismatic politician Vernon Trent (Bill Sadler), a hit is ordered on his family. During the attack, Storm's wife is killed, and the cop himself is severely injured. After waking up from a years-long coma, Storm, aided by gorgeous nurse Andy Stewart (Kelly LeBrock), slowly gets back on his feet and plots revenge against those who wronged him, particularly the duplicitous Sen. Trent.

Release date: February 9, 1990 (USA)

Director: Bruce Malmuth

Box office: 47.4 million USD

Screenplay: Steven McKay

Music composed by: David Michael Frank

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(Ep. 114): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: December 2018

Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good podcast! The Simplistic Reviews Podcast is back to jingle some bells and deck some halls with Simon Appleton from Moustache Movie News. We ask the expert in all things U.K. everything from Brexit, the metric system, and Meghan Markel...we also take a break to read some Christmas cards sent to Santa, much to the chagrin of our Jewish cohost Matthew Stewart. We also bring back one of our favorite games, Simplistic Titles, to see if Simon knows what movies are real and which ones come from the dark recesses of DJ Valentine's twisted mind. All that reindeer crap and more on a fa-la-la-la-loaded episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast


MUSIC
Deck The Halls By Album House
Hark The Herald Angels Sing By Album House
Jingle Bells By Album House
O Little Town Of Bethlehem By Album House
We Wish You An Indie Christmas By Aaron Tosti
Happy Christmas Deck The Halls By Be Still The Earth
8-Bit Blues By Fairlight
Move By OBOY


NOTES
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Audition
Aladdin First Look
Lindsey Lohan Beach Club

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(Ep. 113): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: November 2018

Don't count your turkeys before they're clucked...that's a saying, right? The Simplistic Reviews Podcast for November comes right under the wire just in time to tell you what happened to Harry Potter, explore the career and voice of Kathleen Turner, discuss the filmography of Steven Seagal and create a brand new Pokemon. The boys test the limits of reality with the return of Believable Or Bullshit. Justin reveals which classic '70s show he'll be watching next on TV Roundup. And we flip Hollywood on its head with another edition of Simplistic Switcheroo. All that and more on the award-winning Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES
Hard To Kill
HPV Michael Douglas
Detective Pikachu
Michael J. Fox on Curb

MUSIC
Fast Times By Idols
Sun Traces By Isaac Joel
Gold Medal By Sounds Like Sander
Runaway Ghost By Travis Loafman

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(Ep. 112): If Looks Could Kill - Movie Commentary: Novemeber 2018

If Looks Could Kill

1991 Action Comedy 1hr 28m

Before he can graduate, cocky high school student Michael Corben (Richard Grieco) travels to France on a school trip to earn a missing French credit. But when a British intelligence agent mistakes Michael for a spy of the same name, they rush him to headquarters and assign him to capture the evil Augustus Steranko (Roger Rees), using a plethora of espionage gadgetry. Michael has the time of his life -- until he crosses paths with two assassins (Tom Rack, Carole Davis) who want him dead.

Director: William Dear

Story by: Fred Dekker 

 Why? Because why not! Open that bottle of wine you keep thinking about and spend a lovely evening with DJ, Matt, Justin and the God that is Richard Grieco. Feast your eyes upon the Grieco and say goodbye to your family, because looks can kill!

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(Ep. 111): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: October 2018

What could be more spooky then a Simplistic Reviews Spooktastic Podcast? Okay so you could just  turn on the news which is scary enough.

Today, we bring the Halloween to your ears on the 111th episode of... wait this episode is number 111? So I times 111 by 6... 666!!!, Oh my god Gregory Sestero its the mark of the beast! Damn that's perfect timing or we held off a movie commentary from being released to make a Halloween stupid joke. Nay...not us we aren't that cheesy.

So let's all indulge into some candy, laugh, drink and talk about news and some spooky thoughts we had recently as well make fun of those shitty Hollywood scumbags on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

 Boooo!

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(Ep. 110): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: September 2018

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast is back from our August break and raring to go. And since we thought the show could use more of a fangirl touch, we got the biggest and best fangirl of them all, Jeanette Ward from The Mundane Adventures Of A Fangirl. And as gracious hosts, we immediately put Ms. Ward in the hot seat during another edition of Questions From The Crowd. The gang also go against their better nature while playing Say Anything. Shane Black, Cardi B Nicki Minaj Beef, and midichlorians...all things discussed on the latest episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES
Ray Liotta Commercial
Nicki Minaj & Cardi B Fight
Glass Noodles
Blockbuster Video 

MUSIC
60's Blues Rock Kinda Thing By Aaron Tosti
Gold Medal By Sounds Like Sander
Fast Times Club By Idols

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(Ep. 109): Killing American Style - Movie Commentary: September 2018

Killing American style

1990 ‧ Thriller/Action ‧ 1h 30m

Well it's not Samurai Cop...

Welcome back to the Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary! Today we pop in another Amir Shervan film, Killing American Style. It's the 80's and of course Amir will recycle from his masterpiece Samurai Cop; location, music and beefy men with long beautiful hair.  The terrible acting mix with cheesy fight scene is the best part along with its nonexistent script. Killing American Style is no Samurai Cop. It's not as funny nor crazy but still a entertaining film except for one thing - rape.

The amount of creepiness is beyond anything we have seen before. There really isn't a need for rape in a movie, especially when the story line doesn't call for it. A simple walk into the room with the door closing gets it point across, what we get here is out of control and unnecessary. Killing American Style is a fun Sunday film to drink and laugh at, just look at that title. But when your looking for another Samurai Cop don't look at Killing American Style, it's in a league of its own.
                       

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(Ep. 108): Uncle Sam - Movie Commentary: July 2018

Uncle Sam

R 1996 ‧ Slasher/Horror ‧ 1h 30m

A Gulf War veteran rises from the dead to wreak vengeance upon unpatriotic residents of his hometown.

Initial release: 1996

Director: William Lustig

Release date: 1996 (Greece)

Budget: 2 million USD

Screenplay: Larry Cohen

Because you asked for it, here it is... Uncle Sam! 

The classic blockbuster video rental slasher is a great way to celebrate America's birthday! Nothing like some patriotic killing to make us American hard. Okay children grab that flag and those sparklers, bite into your U.S. grade hamburgers and pop in Uncle Sam...This is Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary!

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(Ep. 107): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: July 2018

 It's July, so that means it's time for a Summer blowout episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast. We broach many subjects including Star Wars' big problem, Robocop reboots, Chris Hardwick's troubles, and the Naked Gun. Yes...that assortment of subjects has never been collectively tackled before.

Also Justin is put on the hot seat for the new segment 'Questions From The Crowd.'

DJ and Justin go crazy with their love for the television show, '24.' And the boys try and figure out films by their last line in the new game, 'Simplistic Last Lines.' All that and more on this new episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES

Jack & Nina

The End Of Every Episode Of Police Squad

MUSIC

Fast Times Club By Idols

Gold Medal By Sounds Like Sander

4. For Losing It By The Triads

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(Ep. 106): Ring of the Musketeers - Movie Commentary: July 2018

Ring of the Musketeers

PG-13 1992 ‧ Action/Adventure ‧ 1h 26m

As descendants of the original Three Musketeers, Peter Porthos (Thomas Gottschalk), John Smith D'Artagnan (David Hasselhoff) and Anne-Marie Athos (Alison Doody) are continuing the chivalrous tradition of protecting those who can't protect themselves, carrying it into the modern age. Rather than fighting lords and counts, these Musketeers have the Mafia to deal with, but they're aided by reformed burglar Burt Aramis (Cheech Marin), the newly knighted fourth Musketeer.

Initial release: December 1, 1992 (Germany)
Director: John Paragon
Production company: Motion Picture Corporation of America
Screenplay: John Paragon, Joel Surnow
Producers:Brad Krevoy, Steven Stabler

Plug that VHS player back in! It time for some David Hasselhoff! That's right, today we watch the Ring of the Musketeers. A made for TV film that... well... nobody remembers.  But when you have a modern day (90's) Musketeers film that has a cast that contains the Hoff, Cheech Marin, Alison Doody, John Rhys-Davies, Corbin Bernsen, Timothy Stack, Ricky Jay and Branscombe Richmond. You pretty much stop whatever you are doing and pop this VHS in.

So fix that tracking and enjoy that mono audio (yes this VHS wasn't in stereo) and repeat, Unus pro omnibus, omnes pro uno! Because we do this together ladies and gents! This is the Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary of Ring of the Musketeers!

                       

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(Ep. 105): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: June 2018

School might be out for summer, but not the Simplistic Reviews Podcast. We are back with special guest Dan "The Comic Book Concierge" Clark from The GeekCast Radio Network and CinemaGeeks Podcast, a couple of call-in friends of ours stop by, and we discuss everything from IHOP changing to IHOB, Hailee Steinfeld having Shape Of Water sex with an Autobot, and of course, the real problem with Hitler...you're gonna have to listen to find out what the hell that means on a brand new episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES
IHOB
David Tyree
Get A Life

MUSIC
Neon Love By Jeff Dale, Gavin Harrison, and Tim Reilly
Five Dollar Bill By Jason Pedder & Ben Ziapour
Midnight Ride By Richard Kimmings & Jason Pedder
Variety Time By Tim Garland

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