This is it guys and girls, the end of an era! The piece of shit known as 2016 is dead. 2016 was nothing but a douche to us all. Think about it, all horrible and horrific stuff. Don't believe me? Fine. Let me ask you, name one thing that was good about 2016?
Still waiting...
Anything?
Yeah we feel you. So to end the year and ring in a new one we have a Mini End of the Year Wrap Up Show! A podcast that wraps up the shitty year of movies into a bite size appetizer to welcome in 2017!
Thank you everyone who has listened this year. We appreciate your support and we have a lot planned for 2017.
"I know it was you, 2016. You broke my heart. You broke my heart."
The sequel picks up on Christmas Eve some years after the first movie, with Ricky Caldwell, the 18-year-old brother of the first film's killer, now being held in a mental hospital,
awaiting trial for a series of murders that he committed. While being
interviewed by the psychiatrist Dr. Henry Bloom, Ricky tells the story
of the murders his brother Billy committed throughout a series of
several flashbacks using footage from the original film. These flashbacks have new shots to make Ricky appear in more of Billy's original story.
To say Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 is a good movie is an understatement. Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 is the greatest movie ever! Come on this is a fun movie to watch. You really have to give it to the team for making a 1hr 30min movie off a 30 page script. Yes I'm somewhat joking, but let's be honest this movie is freaking fun to watch. Every year people watch A Christmas Story or Christmas Vacation for Christmas but I watch Silent Night, Deadly Night 1 and 2. A Christmas Slasher is always a good time.
So this Christmas grab that eggnog and a bowl of that chocolate covered popcorn. Sit down next to that warm fire and lets watch Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2!
Seriously? Yes I don't know why but we did another WB extended-we-don't-give-you-the-full-movie-the-first-time-cut.
What to say about a poorly made film. I mean a 8 year old with iMovie could do a better editing job.
And I feel bad for bringing the 8 year old this luckluster piece of crap.
DJ says it the best. "This is the biggest disappointment of the year".
So we know you really do not want to watch this film again but hell we gave it a try. So this Sunday Funday Movie Night lets give it a GO!
All Board the WB shitliner one more time!
This time the
S. S. We fooled you again...HAHAHA (Shitty Joker laugh)
Don't worry, this time we have Ted Lange as Your Bartender!
Suicide Squad
It feels good to be bad...Assemble a team of the world's most dangerous,
incarcerated Super Villains, provide them with the most powerful
arsenal at the government's disposal, and send them off on a mission to
defeat an enigmatic, insuperable entity. U.S. intelligence officer
Amanda Waller has determined only a secretly convened group of
disparate, despicable individuals with next to nothing to lose will do.
However, once they realize they weren't picked to succeed but chosen for
their patent culpability when they inevitably fail, will the Suicide
Squad resolve to die trying, or decide it's every man for himself?
A
secret government agency, led by the ruthless, high-ranking official
Amanda Waller, recruits some of the most dangerous, incarcerated
villains on the planet to execute dangerous black ops missions and save
the world from a potentially apocalyptic threat from a mysterious,
supernatural entity. If anything goes wrong on this mission, the
government will not be liable but rather can place the blame on the
villains, who are inherently evil people. A small bomb is implanted in
each member of the squad's neck with the capability of detonating any
time one of the members tries to rebel or escape. It will be up to this
assembled team of villains to prevail over the seemingly impossible
events that will unfold before them, in what many deem to be a "suicide
mission".
On this Thanksgiving episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys talk about turkey and Donald Trump...A Minecraft movie and Donald Trump...Shelley Duvall and Donald Trump and who would win in a fight between Dracula and the Wolfman...oh and we also genuflect to our new Presidential overlord Donald J. Drumpf...all that and more on a turkey day episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast. And that wasn't a typo, by the way. Donald Trump's real name is Drumpf...these are facts.
On this spooktacular Halloween episode of the Simplistic
Reviews Podcast, the boys discuss everything that goes bump in the
night...from Deadpool director woes to a Captain Planet film from Leo.
Matthew solves the mystery that is the Madea films. And the boys try to
guess each other's Halloween costumes in a segment we're calling What
Are You Supposed To Be. All that and more on this pumpkin spice latte
version of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast. NOTES Madea film Westworld John Phillips Pitch Captain Planet by Leo
Hey everyone! Welcome to another Movie Commentary. Halloween is creeping up on us so we're continuing with some more movies about murdering. Only this time its a grown man trapped into the workings of a children's doll. (Cue Disney themed music)
Whats that?! Another bloody movie commentary that involves children? Yeah we know. Listen we didn't plan this out, it was purely random. But hey guess what? Luck is on our side because Child's Play 2 is a million times better then that last one, especially in story structure.
So sit back and watch out for that old toy you forgot about in your closet. You know the one that you witness a man doing black magic on when Dad and you went to the bank that one time. Sure you remember, don't you? You know when the cops came and shot up the place? And as he pulled his bullet riddled-bloody body, he knew the only way to live was to transport his soul into your favorite toy?
Welcome to another Friday Night Family Movie Night!
Beware! Children at Play
1hr 34mins | Horror | 1989
Well that happened...
DJ and Justin just watched Beware Children at Play. And...Well...It's not so great. It is a slow boring movie that only picks up right at the end. Sure the topic of murdering demoniac crazy children is a fun idea to use in a movie but if you don't do anything with it then its pretty lousy. Hopefully the movie next time is a bit more enjoyable to watch, because even though this trailer looked amazing, the final product was just lame.
This
month's show is themed around the genius of the late and great Gene
Wilder. As we honor his legacy, we create our very own film
monstrosities with a new segment called, "Frankenstein's Monster." Think
soap in pillow cases and jackets with scorpions on the back...
We
also "blaze" our own saddles and whip out some news in "Excuse Me While
I Whip This Out." All this, and antics galore on The Simplistic Reviews
Podcast.
Friday the 13th Part III once again follows murderer Jason Voorhees, who
as a child drowned off the waters of Camp Crystal Lake. Is there anyone
that can put an end to Jason's murderous rampage?
Friday the 13th Part III is a 1982 American 3D slasher film directed by Steve Miner and the third installment in the Friday the 13th film series. Originally released in 3-D, it is the first film to feature antagonist Jason Voorhees wearing his signature hockey mask, which has become a trademark of both the character and franchise, as well an icon in American cinema and horror films in general. As a direct sequel to Friday the 13th (1980) and Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981), the film follows a group of co-eds on vacation at a house on Crystal Lake, where Jason Voorhees has taken refuge. (IMDB)
On this August edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys
come back from their vacation and catch up with what they missed. JD
Duran from Insession Film joins them for a game of Word Association and a brand new game called Simplistic Submarine. The entire Insession family
also helps the boys with their ode to Jason Bourne. Yo-Ho-Ho mateys!
All that and more on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
Today on this 4th of July we fight a 3hr war, one we thought we would lose. But we made it through all 3hrs of Zack Snyder's poor choices to bring you another Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary. We're sure you have better things to do today. Drink and Eating come to mind. But the time may come when you must watch that
Batman V Superman
Dawn of Justice
Ultimate Edition
Extended Cut
Collectors Edition
Movie Commentary
Christ that's a mouthful. Then lets watch it together. A army of one. A uprising to be independent from unbelievable plot holes in a $250 million dollar movie. I mean it's crazy to think these people are professionals and still somehow find work.
So remember young ones. You don't need to jam 10 pounds of shit into a 5 pound bag. Fill up that first bag with all that needed shit and grab another 5 pound bag to finish stuffing that shit. Because having two bags of shit is okay, not one overstuffed bag of shit with plot holes throughout its 3hr run time is okay. Shit boys and girl, that just doesn't fly!
Continuing our marathon of the one and only Andy Sidaris. If this is your first time, Sidaris is the king of B-Rated films that pretty much only contains the 3 elements any film really ever needs Bullets, Babes and Sex!
Today we let lose on Picasso Trigger, another solid entry into the Sidaris legacy.
"Double agent Picasso Trigger is assassinated in Paris by double-crossing
bad guy Miguel Ortiz. Then Ortiz begins eliminating agents of The
Agency who were involved in his brother's death. The Agency (belatedly)
springs into action to stop Ortiz' heinous activities. The usual
gunplay, romance, and nifty toys with bombs ensue."
So grab a cold one and get ready for a thrill of a lifetime, because kids this is...
On
the May edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast...Justin
Polizzi...absolutely...LOSES IT! Matt and DJ are powerless to stop him
from embracing the dark side and unleashing his anger about the new
Ghostbusters movies...and Finding Dory...and Spider-Man Homecoming...and
the television upfront trailers for Lethal Weapon, MacGyver and
Training Day. Polizzi's unbridled rage and fury sends the show toppling
down into a dark abyss of obscenities and inappropriate behavior with
household pets. An abyss the show may never ever be able to recover
from. Now doesn't that sound like a show that you should listen to?!
All that and more on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
If you listened to the cold open to Episode 68 of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, guest starring Matty Negs from Negs Best Thing
and Al Pacino, you might have heard Julie in the background taping
something in the recording studio. In this Bonus Content clip, you can
hear exactly what she was saying on her side of the glass.
On this “Spring Cleaning” episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, Matty Negs from Negs Best Thing Podcast helps us talk remakes of TV shows, reboots of Robin Williams films, Game Of Thrones, Prince, Coolio, and movie character fights to the death. Oh and Al Pacino reads the phone book for us. All that and more on the April edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
On this ORDER 66 Episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys get prepped for Batman V Superman with a brand new skit. Matt accepts our award from GeekCast Radio Network for best podcast. And to prove that they can be fair, the boys play a round of Simply Say Anything. Trailers, Indiana Jones, and Daredevil talk. All this and more on the March edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
You've
heard from the experts...now hear from the madmen from Simplistic
Reviews as they predict who will and who should win at the 2016 Oscars.
Don't worry, the boys do their best to skate around the #OscarsSoWhite
issue. What, are you kidding? They tackle it head on with enough
irreverence that even Spike Lee flinch. They also tackle other topics
like R rated animation, Jennifer Lawrence on the precipise of being
hated, and Harvey Fierstein...a lot of Harvey Fierstein. All that and
more on the Simplistic Reviews Oscar Prediction Podcast
On
this Law & Order/Valentine's Day-centric episode of the Simplistic
Reviews Podcast, Jay Cluitt from Life Vs. Film and the Lamb joins the
boys to discuss important topics like Earl Grey, Parliament, Paul
Giamatti, Mr. T, and Christopher Walken. Also the boys take some time to admit some of their worst movie and television sins in another edition of Simply Ashamed.
All that and more on the Simplistic Reviews Podcast
